Lets workshop your character V2!

I don't have a lot of free time as of late, but I've gotten addicted to reading character Bios! If anyone wants some feedback or help workshopping their characters, send me a link or post it down below and I'll have a read and provide said feedback

Here, have Dust.

Figured I'd throw one into the ring.

Hiya Julie!


My first through, came to me immediately upon reading Dust's bio, is what is a sand elemental? I see in the powers section that she can transfer consciousness through sand to effectively teleport. Are sand elementals a type of soul that can manifest in sand? That sort of thing. There aren't a lot of elementals on the forum, let alone sand elementals; so she's a really cool character! But with uniqueness sometimes there's a need for some clarification, so people can understand her a little better than say... a commonly known species like a hedgehog.

I think the rest of her is very well balanced! 

Her backstory seems to clarify somewhat what a Sand Guardian is, although when you're looking through character bios for information say... in a combat RP situation, the Backstory isn't the first place someone will go to. My suggestion earlier was more so to consider and include a section that shortly explains what a Sand Elemental is, and how they work- if you get what I mean.


More about her backstory, its very intricate and there's heaps of loose ends with potential for tie-ins in SOOooo many RPs. I love it!

But it raises a question for me; is Dust the only spirit to have revived from the Feignite slaughter? If so, why? If not, where are the others? If that sort of thing is meant to be kept a secret then that's ok, but what other implications could the reason behind her revival have on her character? For example; an eldritch pact with a elder god could also give her the ability to speak ancient languages.

Then I'm also curious about why/how she's immune to Feign after she's been reduced to sand by said Feign. If the other Dust Jackals have been erased into sand, soul included, then wouldn't her soul still technically be vulnerable? I guess that sort of ties into my previous question, so whether or not you actually need to address that is dependent on that question.


My final bit of curiosity/advice is; where does her color come from? Her body is made entirely of sand right? Her eyes have some color to them; are they fake eyes? If not, then whats her need for real clothes/the flower in her hair? What other implications could that have? What other powers does the ability to change the color of body parts open up?

That's all I have to offer for her, she's an excellent character!

Wanna take a look at Florence? ^^

Samantha perhaps?