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Can someone see if my character is good?

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Can someone see if my character is good? Empty Can someone see if my character is good?

Post by Guest Sun Aug 28, 2022 4:53 pm

Ok so, I made a OC and I want to see if it is good. Is that ok?
Here is the OC:

Name: Rebellious (Real Name Tyler, however he despises if people call him that)
Species: Tenrec
Personality: Rebellious is a straight man. He is usually serious, doesn't like nonsense and does not allow people to mess with his stuff. He is a little bit more intelligent than the average tenrec, being able to do stuff such as conducting experiments. He also feels massive guilt over what he did to his enemy in the past.
Backstory: He was born in Mystic Cave zone. He lived there a great amount of time in his life, and made an friend name Jacob, who preferred to be called Justice. One day, another tenrec named Cunning attacked and caused chaos. One day, Rebellious found fake emeralds, thinking they were real and went to fight Cunning. However, when he went there, Cunning had impaled his friend Justice, and getting full of anger, the fake emeralds made him transform into a Corrupted form and he kills Cunning on the spot.
Abilities: After what happened, the negative energy stayed with Rebellious and allowed him to use chaos abilties. He can do your typical abilties like Chaos Control, Chaos Spear and Chaos Blast (altough they are much weaker since the energy isn't real) however he has a ability called Chaos Eclipse where he can slow time for an individual (he can even stop time for the target if he is in his Corrupted form)
Transformation: After the energy staying with him, Rebellious has tried his maximum to not feel strong emotions, as if he feels them then the chaos energy starts taking control of him. The more the energy controls him, the more powerful and aggresive he becomes. If it takes over completely, then he will turn into Corrupted Rebellious, where he is more strong than his base form, can fly and can morph his body.  However, this transformation is temporary, and if he regains control then he turns back into normal and gets weakened alot, resulting in him most of the time falling unconcious.

So? Is my character good?

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Can someone see if my character is good? Empty Re: Can someone see if my character is good?

Post by KingOfGames Wed Aug 31, 2022 6:12 am

Honestly, I'm not much of a character judger, despite being an admin, but as an admin, after some discussion, we're going to say that Rebellious cannot just find fake chaos emeralds, as they are rather limited items, only being made by Metarex and Tails, and therefore can be assumed they can only be made by the genius types.

There needs to be a well-justified reason for him to be able to obtain fake emeralds.

Otherwise, I'd personally say that the character's missing a lot of details, so I'd recommend using the template found here

And perhaps the ability to stop time without a Chaos Emerald is too much, time slow is already a lot on top of Chaos powers.
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Can someone see if my character is good? Empty Re: Can someone see if my character is good?

Post by Guest Fri Sep 02, 2022 3:27 am

Updated Bio


Name:
Tyler
Nicknames: Rebellious
Age: 18
Species: Tenrec
Gender: Male
Occupation: Scientist

Appearance: Has yellow fur, with his left hand and right leg having a red and black glitching effect. His eyes are orange and he has blue shoes (similar to Silver the Hedgehog). The fur on his chest and his snout are light orange. He doesn't have much muscles however it's visible that he is pretty strong. He also has long and triangular spines at the back of his head, round ears with a light orange inside and his head is generally shaped like a triangle. He also keeps a protective posture to ensure he is protected from all and any danger.

References: (none)


Personality traits

Likes:
-Children

-Intelligent people
-Experimenting

Dislikes:
-People messing with his stuff
-Pushovers
-Rude people
-Annoyances



Personality:
Rebellious is smart and cunning. He usually is quite reserved and polite, however he will stop people if they are being annoying or are causing trouble, even if it means he will have to resort to violence. He also treats his friends like colleagues, and avoids being too personally attached to them because he fears he might lose them like how he lost Justice, which he doesn't want to talk about. He also becomes more aggressive and less friendly when he starts getting corrupted.

Combat traits

Powers:

Experimentation:
He can experiment with others and change certain things about them (like physical body appearance, powers, etc.), however he can only do this when he has the right equipment.
Creation of robots:
He can construct machines (not as professionally as Tails or Robotnik can though).
Phantom powers:
Chaos powers (Chaos Control, Chaos Blast, etc.) however they have the properties of attacks from the Phantom Ruby, meaning they can alter perception of reality.
Corrupted Rebellious:
If the phantom ruby energy takes over completely, then Rebellious will turn into Corrupted Rebellious, where he is more strong than his base form, can fly and can morph his body. However, this transformation is temporary, and if he regains control then he turns back into normal and gets extremely weakened, resulting in him most of the time falling unconscious.

Strengths:
-Phantom Ruby Energy (makes him stronger)
-Manipulation (to avoid danger)
-Combos (can combo his attacks quickly)

Weaknesses:
-Phantom Ruby Energy (makes him more corrupted)
-Getting surprised (things like surprise attacks for example)
-Strong attacks (self-explanatory)


Social information

Positive relations
-Justice the Tenrec:
His childhood friend. They always played with each other and Rebellious viewed him as his big brother. Got killed in the events of Sonic Forces.

-Sonic the Hedgehog (and the rest of the resistance):
He respects and adores them for defeating Eggman and Infinite.


Negative relations

-Infinite the Jackal:
He despises him with his heart and soul for killing Justice and for corrupting him. 
-Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik:
He hates him because he was the one who sent Infinite to kill his friend. He also despises him, although to a lesser degree.


History


He was born in Mystic Cave Zone, alongside Justice. They moved to the city prior to the events of Sonic Forces. In the cutscene where Infinite attacked everyone and let the Avatar go free, Rebellious and Justice tried to fight back but that ended up killing Justice, and when Rebellious was about to die, a piece of the Phantom Ruby prototype fell into his hand, which ended up infusing the Phantom Ruby energy into his body, thus corrupting his hand, and soon after, his leg. After that, he ran away and is now wandering around the world to avoid being found.



If you accept this new bio/think it's good enough, then I will post it in the Character Bio forum.


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Post by KingOfGames Fri Sep 02, 2022 4:02 am

Definitely better, but you also did some things that weren't allowed.

To start: The phantom ruby and its shards, prototype or not, is a special item, and therefore cannot be used by characters unless they obtained it via roleplay. For now, it is completely unavailable.

A list of banned items can be found here

Next up, while the events of Forces was a worldwide event, and it's definitely plausible that Infinite could have caused havoc on the town Rebellious was living in, he cannot have fought back, at least to the extent to- I assume chip off a piece of a ruby he had.

Furthermore, Infinite was not sent to kill anyone in particular, so that tidbit is a no-go.

On the more criticism side of things, It's in bad taste to put canon characters in the relationships section, and while these- with the exception of Eggman- are okay, it is a bit unnecessary.
-Ruby powers are a bit much on top of chaos powers.

"Manipulation" is rather vague, manipulation of what? Like he's good at manipulative tactics? Can he manipulate some kind of energy or matter?

"Strong attacks" is a bit too self-explanatory, nobody likes taking a direct hit. Better off taking it out, or perhaps say he is frail instead?

"Experimentation", while I would say that's more of a strength, do note that if you're going to experiment on other people's characters, you have to ask permission, or at least a chance to have them fight back should they not want to be experimented on.

And if this is actually some kind of power, I'm going to need you to elaborate.
That's it from me.
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Post by Guest Sun Sep 04, 2022 2:26 am

New and Better Bio


Name: 
Tyler
Nicknames: Rebellious
Age: 18
Species: Tenrec
Gender: Male
Occupation: Scientist

Appearance: Has yellow fur, with his left hand and right leg having a red and black glitching effect. His eyes are orange and he has blue shoes (similar to Silver the Hedgehog). The fur on his chest and his snout are light orange. He doesn't have much muscles however it's visible that he is pretty strong. He also has long and triangular spines at the back of his head, round ears with a light orange inside and his head is generally shaped like a triangle. He also keeps a protective posture to ensure he is protected from all and any danger.

References: (none)


Personality traits

Likes:
-Children
-Intelligent people
-Experimenting

Dislikes:
-People messing with his stuff
-Pushovers
-Rude people
-Annoyances



Personality:
Rebellious is smart and cunning. He usually is quite reserved and polite, however he will stop people if they are being annoying or are causing trouble, even if it means he will have to resort to violence. He also treats his friends like colleagues, and avoids being too personally attached to them because he fears he might lose them like how he lost Justice, which he doesn't want to talk about. He also becomes more aggressive and less friendly when he starts getting corrupted.

Combat traits

Powers:

Experimentation:
He can experiment with others and change certain things about them (like physical body appearance, powers, etc.), however he can only do this when he has the right equipment.
Creation of robots:
He can construct machines (not as professionally as Tails or Robotnik can though).
Illusion:
He can create illusions (similar to Infinite).
Corrupted Rebellious:
If the phantom ruby energy takes over completely, then Rebellious will turn into Corrupted Rebellious, where he is more strong than his base form, can fly and can morph his body. However, this transformation is temporary, and if he regains control then he turns back into normal and gets extremely weakened, resulting in him most of the time falling unconscious.

Strengths:
-Phantom Ruby Energy (makes him stronger)
-Parkour 
-Combos (can chain his attacks quickly)

Weaknesses:
-Phantom Ruby Energy (makes him more corrupted)
-Getting surprised (things like surprise attacks for example)
-Neutralizer attacks (attacks that can neutralize his powers)


Social information

Positive relations
-Justice the Tenrec:
His childhood friend. They always played with each other and Rebellious viewed him as his big brother. Got killed in the events of Sonic Forces.


Negative relations
-None


History


He was born in Mystic Cave Zone, alongside Justice. They moved to the city prior to the events of Sonic Forces. In the cutscene where Infinite attacked everyone and let the Avatar go free, Rebellious and Justice tried to escape but Justice wasn't able to survive, and when Rebellious was about to die, he was able to absorb the energy of the Phantom Ruby, thus corrupting his hand, and soon after, his leg. After that, he ran away and is now wandering around the world to avoid being found.


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