Nate Chiba

by Nate Chiba Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:49 am

//: LOGGING IN, LOADING DATA... :\\

Character Biography

Reference:

Name: Nate Chiba

Nicknames: Nate, NBoy, or Chibster

Gender: Male

Species: Mobian. (Fox)

Age: 22

Date Of Birth: 6/20/1992

Birth Place: Mobuis, Emerald Coast Zone Hospital

Current Residence: Mobius City

Social Status:

Friends: Hydro, Natsuno, Tyson_The_Comet's FC(s) -Mostly all of them except one.-

Rivals: James Herruis

Enemies: Darius Mourning

Marital Status: Single

Crush: Atsuko Attakai

Lover: N/A

Parents: Draco Chiba [ Dead from suicide. ] , & Fiona Chiba [ Dead from child birth. ]

Siblings: N/A

Other Family Members: None. [ All dead from major disease. Lyme disease mostly... Nate apparently was immune to diseases at his age, due to him having blood of a dragon. ]

Team Status:

Team Name: Team Erupt

Team Members: Hydro, and Attakai

Team Leader: Himself, Nate

Team Formation: N/A

Team's Special Abilities: Element Summon. [ Nate pulls out a arrow from his inventory and send it flying, while the others blast a specific element into the arrow. Only one element per person or the hold ability fails beyond it. ]

Abilites/Skills: Can eat, touch, hold, breathe, and all of the above with Flames

Weapons: Depending on the matter, he uses his flames and/or uses his BowLord which is a Bow-Gun plus a Sword in combination. He also has two mini pistols that shoot out tranquilizer darts that would put people over into sleep

Element: Fire

Armor: N/A

Forms: A Dragon Form [ His animal type basically turns into "Dragon", which means wings and black or grey skin, plus black sneakers, a red coat - long -, black shorts, and shades. He gets a sensation to kill people, but that only happens when he's really ticked off... depending on a bright or dark mood. ] , and a Normal Geek Form

Other: Backflips... Backrolls... Frontflips... Frontrolls... And that would about cut off "Other"

Strengths: Fire, ONLY Fire

Weaknesses: You know when your experimenting on fire? Well, about the common tools to put OUT fire, would critically damage him

Personalities:

With Strangers: Ignorant

With Family: No Family

With Friends: Treats like Family

With Rivals: Mischevious and cocky

With Enemies: A big douche bag, plus very arrogant

Likes/Dislikes:

Likes~
Food: Popcorn

Drink: Sodas, or Fruit Juice

Other: Hanging out with friends, drawing, making digital art, talking a lot, playing guitar, and picking on Hydro

Dislikes~

Food: Snowcones

Drink: Anything cold

Other: Sad Movies, Arachnids , Math, Romance, James Herrius , and the maybe slow connections on the internet

[b]Theme Songs:

Main Theme:

Battle Theme:

Victory Theme:

Defeated Theme:

Backstory: Nate was born long ago in 1992. The first thing he sees is terrible, which were his parents lying dead. Nate realizes that after he gets pulled out of his mother's stomach. He didn't know that they were dead, as so he thought they were asleep. The doctors run off, and try to look for carts to put the dead bodies on. Meanwhile, the doctors being careless left Nate in the room with his parents. Nate crawls to his father, and then finds a cube in his pocket. Nate pulls it out, and it forms into a computer. Nate kept it, and took it with him. After that, the doctors come back and see him with the cube. The doctors agree to let him keep the cube as memory of his parents. The doctors take him and the parents to the ambulance and drop his parents of at a funeral home. Then, later he gets sent to a adoption center. 4 years later, and 2 months and 2 weeks with in 1 day... A threat to the adoption center happened, a robbery, by a guy named Darius Mourning. Darius then finds Nate, Darius then "adopts" Nate and takes him to his base. Later he finds out what REALLY happened another 8 years later and 3 weeks and 2 days. He figures out by finding a book from which was written in Darius' Poison Book. Which so he reads that he sent a curse on both of Nate's Parents to die when his mother gave birth. Then gets sent in the forest for finding out, by Darius himself. Later, a man named Hydro Pump finds him and takes him to his home so he won't be eaten by wolves, while his age is currently age 14. Today, he's still kind and sweet, but sounds mean-sounding. He'll talk to the people around him, as long as they look friendly or related. At age 18, Hydro finally tries to say his good-byes to Nate. Nate slowly walks down the road, but then falls to the ground, after a huge hit from a curse, that was followed by his mother. His mother was cursed to act evil, which caused chaos. So, that was passed down to Nate. Hydro got worried, which made him keep him longer. At age 21, he heals from the curse when finally meeting his crush, Atsuko Attakai. Then, 8 weeks from today, Nate creates a group called Tea[/b][b][b]m Erup[/b][/b][b][b]t , which includes Atsuko and Hydro. In current today, Nate is found in Town Square, normally sitting by the fountain. He mostly is wearing glasses, a red shirt, blue shorts, white&gray [ mostly white ] sneakers, and red gloves. [/b][/b]

[b][b] //: LOGGING OFF, DATA COMPLETE... :\\[/b][/b]

by Tyson_the_Comet Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:07 pm

~~Glad to see your char has a Sonic form now~~ (Don't read that.)

Anyways, since Knux isn't online at this moment, and I have nothing better to do, I'll be the critique this time. All my comments will be in this color and bolded. Knuxtiger, you can kill me later.

Birth Place: Mobuis, Emerald Coast Zone Hostpitle.

*Hospital

Friends: Not sure... But tries.

Would Hydro and a few of my fcs count as friends?

Rivals: Doesn't really... HAVE a rival.

...*cough* James Herrius *cough*

Marital Status:

Crush: I would say he has one... But he's a little too much for it.

Lover: Well... Not exactly, no.

Just put the marital status on Single for now.

Parents: Draco Chiba [ Dead. ] , & Fiona Chiba [ Dead. ].

Dead parents cliche. Not that there's much wrong to it.

Other Family Members: None. [ All dead from major disease. ]

Oh my. Um... mind specifying what disease is it? And how is Nate not affected by it...? Or is he?

Team Status:

Team Status? That's new for me. But I like it. Go on.

Team Members: Hydro, and Natsuno.

Can't wait to see their bios as well.

Team's Special Abilities: Element Summon. ( Where all the team members, collide their elements togethor to form a blast consisting a whopping damage. BUT takes a lot of energy... So rarely used, indeed. )

...So, how does it happen? Is it like, different spheres of each element fusing together to make one huge mass of destruction? Also 3 element combination cliche.

Abilites/Skills: Can eat, touch, hold, breathe, and all of the above with Flames.

...I'm confuzzled. I'm going to assume that Nate can 1: Survive in extremely hot conditions, 2: Not get burned. At all. ~~3: Firebend (Sorry I had to make the reference.)~~ 4: Breathe and ....eat fire.

Need more specifics.

Element: Fire.

Scratching off 3.

Forms: A Dragon Form, and a Normal Geek Form.

Glad to know that your characters don't have a brazillion forms. Though I'm curious to know more about the "Dragon Form", such as physical apperance, enhanced traits, and altered personality.

Other: Backflips... Backrolls... Frontflips... Frontrolls... and I think can teleport.

Aaand we got another teleporter. I think. Just don't overdo the teleports, 'aight?

Strengths: Fire, and Electricity for some strange reason.

Electricity? Do tell, please.

Weaknesses: Anything that can damage fire damages him. (Like water, for example.)

...So you could throw a bucket of water on him and that would hurt him? Once again, specify more please.

With Strangers: Timid, A LITTLE shy but can act like normal, and ignore the strangers.

More details plz.

With Family: Well, He doesn't have a family so...

He could treat his friends like family...

With Friends: Very open, but usually has a deep voice and sometimes complains a bunch.

More details plz

With Rivals: - Even though he doesn't have any, let's just state the way he would be... - Very loyal, but dangerous around rivals.

A.k.A Mischevious and cocky A.F.

With Enemies: The same as Rivals, except a lot more mean and nasty.

A.K.A A total d-bag and arrogant?

Likes~
Food: Popcorn... Majorly...

Drink: Sodas, and sometimes Fruit Juice.

Other: Hanging out with friends, drawing, making digital art.

Anything else?

Dislikes~

Food: Snowcones. [ .-. I guess it's a food AND drink. ]

It's a desert, so it classifies as food.

Drink: Snowcones.

Other: Sad Movies, Bugs - Spiders, mostly -, Math.

Anything else?

Alright, to the backstory!

Backstory: Nate was born long ago in 1992. The first thing he sees is terrible, which were his parents lying dead. (So on the exact moment he was born, he saw his parents dead? More details plz.) He didn't know that they were dead, so he thought they were asleep. Later he finds out what REALLY happened (How??), then gets sent in the forest for finding out (By whom?). Later, a man named Hydro finds him and takes him to his home so he won't be eaten by wolves(...When and what. More details plz.) . Today, he's still kind and sweet, but sounds a little rough(As in... traumatized, or mean-sounding?). He'll talk to the people around him, as long as they look friendly or related(But you said he's usually shy. Wat.). People spot him for his light green fur, and grey/white sneakers(Anything else he wears? Also, light green fur and grey/white sneakers isn't unordinary, if that's what you're hinting at.).

Welp, you still have a little bit of work to do, but then again, no one gets their fc right and balanced on the first go. At least it wasn't as bad as Echo's bio...

A few recomendations.

1. More details. It makes things much clearer.

2. Slightly longer backstory. Lots of gaps in time in there.

3. Any hobbies for Nate? That would be good.

4. Balance the strengths and weaknesses. And more details with them as well. Still confused on the bucket of water part -~-

Overall, you did a good job. Now if you'll excuse me, Knux is probably going to maul me by the time I finish this post. Freeze ya later! *Poof*

by Nate Chiba Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:16 am

... Well, some of the coding on here isn't co-operating with me completely, so it's a little screwed up. scratch

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