NOW ITS A CHARCTER DUMP WIP

Might as well go for two for two tonight with the critiques on bios.  This one I'm expecting it to be long as your bio is very, very long.  That said, I shall begin!

Species: Can shape shift but normaly appears human:

Age: Latest shape shift 2 (but appears 18) cyborg age 18 birth age 28:

D.O.B: actually March 21st 1982 cyborg age July 17th 1990 Latest shape shift December 5th 2011:

So reading that your character Mitch is a shapeshifter but then reading about his age and date of birth and I'm just scratching my head at that.  How can he be a shapeshifter if he's a cyborg?  If you looked up what a cyborg is, they basically have a outer appearance of whatever species they are why their insides are cybernetic or robotic.  A cyborg would have a very hard time shapeshifting so I don't understand how he can be a shapeshift if he's a cyborg.  Really you got too much confusing information.  Just stick the the date they were born and your good to go!

Place of Birth: Moon Colony #23 Reashin witch orbits the captil planet Laray:

Current Residence: normally resides in Central City but  he travels to get used to the new environment and to challenge others to battle

Place of birth, I'm going to touch up on that when I hit your history but just going to say that its confusing for now.  As of residence, it says "current" residence, you don't need that bit about him travelling, that could be mentioned somewhere else.

Height: 5'7ft:(max 6'6ft tall)

The height bothers me quite a bit. Usually most human males average in around 5'3 to 5'10.  Some exceed the 6 foot mark but 6'6?  He seem very, very tall for a character and it does bother me quite a bit.  Especially then your in a universe where mobians don't get any taller than 4'3 at most times.

Eye Color: a dark green but when enraged scarlet

Going to skip likes and dislikes since the information deals with the history on Mitch.  As of the eyes, don't do this.  This is one thing that is a common cliche with any type of character. Its severely over done, just stick to one color.

I'm going to skip over body build since I already mentioned the issues of him being shapeshift and a cyborg.  Really if you do axe the cyborg part, you don't need to go into all the different thing he can turn into, just mention where his limits stand.

Accessories: Ankle and arm weights with a gold necklace witch he planed to give to his past love but is willing to give it to his next love(piercings,jewelry,relics,markings)

I was fine with everything until I read the bit about the past love.

Relationship Status: single but searching for love to relive some of his pain:(single,taken,crushing, etc.)

Don't even need to read the history to know he had a past love and that "he's hurting in pain" because of his lose and so on.  This is another major cliche I come across a lot.  I would suggest removing it since unless you can give a good explanation behind it or can do something so original I haven't heard of it its not that original and honestly makes me groan.

Perks: is very passionate for people he has boded with. very understanding unless enraged. has lots of experience in the world. decent public speaker. easy to bond with if he gives you the chance(what makes your character skilled,the good points minimum of 3,max of 10)

"Has a lot of experience in the world" this bothered me.  If he's from a different planet and I believe he hasn't be here for long, how would he be experienced?  I honestly find more believe if he's sorta lost on his planet and has been spending time to try to understand everything.

Flaws: when enraged he doesn't care for feelings even if he knows the person. dosent understand mobus culture. has a superiority complex. has little emotion for people he dosent know. not very open about his past with most people:(the downfalls of your character,disabilities and such,minimum 3,max of 10)

That first flaw bothered me a lot because from reading his Perks, this clashes with the fact he's passionate and that he's easy to bond with.  Would probably just would have left it at he get's angered easily.  This also clashes with his "superiority complex" and has little emotion as yet again in his Perks you mention that he gets along with people and such.  Honestly would remove quite a few of these like the complex and the emotion because it makes no sense to his Perks.  As of the past, that one I'm fine with for the most part.


As of social status I was pretty fine with what you got. Family was a bit much but not too confusing for me at least.  I think you could leave out a bit and put it into his history though.

Enemies: the crew of the unknown ship but would also like to destroy Eggmans empire for the first war in the human uprising

I'm not sure what canon you follow but if its suppose to be games, there hasn't been mention of any "human war" in them.  If its Archie canon, you might want to do a lot more research.  There was a "human vs. mobians" war but that happened so far back that Mitch would have to be pretty damn old to have seen that.  You might want to do a lot of reading on the canons.

Skills: decent marksman and Professional spacecraft piloting skills (but cannot fly planes as well as spacecraft) has unknown martial arts (but cannot use his moves counter against human martail arts as often because of decreased gravity and the muscle structure of humans/anthros) can also shape shift if he has an organic base but cannot change at will it takes him about 10 minutes without disturbance to load the data and then shape shift (but can transform into forms faster that he has commonly used)

This right here...this is a trainwreck here.  Read this over again carefully.  Do you notice the things clashing?  If not let me break it down.

-How can he have professional piloting skills if he can't fly ships?
-How can he have martial art if he from a different planet?
-How can he shapeshift if he's a cyborg and why such a slow rate?

Really I would remove ALL this and rework this section.  You have too many thing clashing and its just way too confusing for me and I'm sure too confusing for the average joe reading this bio.

Physical Abilities: has the reflexes of 5 and a half men and can he super human strength (but not beyond believable levels) and never tires cause of his cybernetics but cannot do all three at once without quickly draining his battery

Ugghhhhhh.  Please, please, please.  Never stay that a character has the "reflexes" or anything that is stronger than a human being.  Mitch isn't a super hero and even if he's an alien, if he's much like a human on the planet, he's not going to be this strong super being.  Just honestly he sounds way to overpowered here and would ditch all of this too.  Even the cybernetics not tiring because even I find that as a huge flaw.  If it gives you an idea, I have characters with cybernetics, they are a MAJOR weak spot for them as their cybernetics can break and need to be repaired a lot and that some don't have surge protectors, a simple hit of electricity and they are down.

Just really, rework all this.

Mental Abilities: is immune to mental attacks and because of his species he can see supernatural creatures (but has to focus to see them if there hiding)

Again, why?  This just seems like another thing to make your character even more overpowered.  Can you give me a better reason on why?  If not, axe this too because again, your making him waaaayyyy too strong a a character giving him all these things that can't affect him.

mild but people see him as extreme cause of his brutality while he fights:(insane or not,mild,average,extreme,psychotic)

This bit screams out "we got a badass over here" in the worse way possible.  Never use the words "insane" or "psychotic" to describe how a character fights.  This honestly just is sooo over done and the fact that people use this again to make their character seem overpowered to others.

*Vehicles: happy cause he dosent have to waste his time walking he can refuel absorbing the electric/kinetic energy from the vehicle after asking of course

*Cityscapes: happy to find out more about the citys culture but he hates it if hes low on battery cause he figures the the "law" would prevent him absorbing energy from the environment

Theme Song(s): main theme You Will Know Our Names  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4vCEHpv6Hg defeted/motivation theme: Magnus theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlMkDs1NWGs Battle theme: dark pits theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24m2oeWteFw crew/squad themehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_t8iatrBR8
Clothing Theme: street/si-fi

Too many theme songs, stick to just one.

History: (oh boy this one is gonna be a doozy) He was born to a family of generals on the Moon Colony #23 Reashin near planet Tikan a planet about three galxeys away from earth/mobus with a government at its breaking point years 2 after his older brother Lash. He was named after his father Kras because of his simaliar personalty as a child (naming happens 3 years after birth as a tradition). His father had a large position in the consul because of the generals rapid rise of power in the council. Because of his position as general he trained his sons in military tactics/combat witch his youngest son excelled. Some beveled he was the one to become a universe walker a group that has one Representative per species that they believed could walk through space and they only exist in one universe they worshiped them like gods. Kras thought that idea of himself becoming a universe walker was ridiculous. But it was something his uncle was obsessed over. He always was pushing his limits but his brother was starting to get jealous the only thing he was better than in was tactics witch he was slowly getting better. the council was working on a super solder project witch his father singed him and his brother up but as the project went on the but funding dwindled and as the scientists ran out of money there was a chance that the subjects that were exposed to the cybernetics would slowly die if the project was not completed his father funded the project by asking his uncle to take the idea up to council because the more political officials were getting sick of the generals having high power so he did. his father put his sons into sleep mode so he could download more weapon programs without the councils primisshon. additionally his brother realized the potential that having Kras the son of one of the most rebound generals of his time would allow he deiced to have the father hold conspearisy agenst another general who had allot of power and Kras the IInd's love to psychologically mess with Kras and get him to think his father was evil. witch got his love and her father killed. while he was in rest mode his brother went home to his uncle who was killing their father and mother while Kras the 2nd was still in sleep mode to get his body used to the cybernetics. his brother wanted to get over it before he woke his brother. But instead Lash decided to leave on a ship with his newly founded squad and his uncle Kras the IInd him in. As he became one of the most feared warriors/commanders in the known universe (at least to them) until he got an expedition mission to a very alive planet they became interested in uncharted planet 45/mobus after black dooms invasion after got close a mesterous ship shot them down after crash landing landed he shape shifted into a human male because after making a crude human form after seeing T.V feeds he was fround apoun and the rest is for him to decide

"This one is going to be a doozy" is going to best describe what I read for his history.

The first section about the planet and stuff, I like that you came up with all these cool names and such but you failed to go into any details about these planets nor even have any history about the alien there and such.  Were the humans that somehow made it or something else.  Also I find it very, very impossible for his planet to have managed to find Mobius which is 3 galaxies away.  If you have an idea how a galaxy is, look them up, they have thousands upon thousands of planet and them making contact or even known about Mobius would be a 0.00000.1% chance if you get what I mean.

You also never went into details about how the government was collapsing.  Was is war? Famine?  Disease?  Corruption?  Other aliens?  Just not enough meat there!  I can telling you that there's a few bios here of "alien" characters that went into all these things that I understood better.  Also the universe walker bit, what is all that all about?  Is a religious or is it some political status?  How do they "walk the universe" or travel?  What makes them special to the rest of the ranks?  Just yet again, not enough details here to understand what is going on.

The section sections about him and his brother and his uncle training him I found okay but them being chosen as super soldiers and such, seems like you got too much "special snowflake" going on since they were the only two picked and by his father no doubt.  Would added that maybe one of them failed at the begin or at least there was more.

When I started to get into the "super weapon" thing is where I just...really just basically gave up here trying to understand what's going on and its just WAY too confusing here.  You never go into why they got cybernetics, why they were put into this sleep mode, or who was the one that messed up Mitch.  Also Mitch going on a killing spree with his family, you made it very hard to understand what made him do it and such.  You also never mention about his love life expect when he killed his lover and then when he actually gets to Mobius and how his squad managed to make a long distance travel like that without dying or aging is all just.. bad.  You really lost my interest halfway in and even I couldn't make sense of his backstory.  

My honest to god suggestion, scrap all of this, restart from the beginning.  You have some idea of coming up with good concepts but executing that is a whole another field.  I know you can do better and I would love to see you do more but as of right now, this is a mess of a bio.

Mitch needs A LOT of work, both character wise and history wise.  He comes off as an overpowered character to me and just finding your not very clear with your backstory of your planets or Mitch's history.  My suggest would be to restart from the beginning, maybe salvage some bit for this bio but otherwise beginning anew.

My critique is harsh, yes but look it this way, I'm trying you help you out make a character that readers can follow easily nd understand everything about him.  As I always say, you don't need to listen to my critique, you can say "To hell with her critique!" but see it as this, you can improve a lot by looking into the things I pointed out.