A Coffee Break In Hell

Honestly the board meeting was one of the most dullest parts of representing Sheol in the Underworld. It was one of the things you just didn't want to wake up in the morning for, because it involved sitting in a room for several long hours discussing things which you weren't involved in. It was usually the same-old same-old: Hell was getting out of control once more and causing all sorts of ego-driven idiots to 'escape' (they say that, but it's really they can't be bothered with them anymore), Sheol was the usual 'have you done this yet' and 'how much [insert section currency here] does [insert section here] owe you?' and all the 'You forgot to this and that' and uuurrrrgh. Bafalaut wondered why he couldn't just go back to bed and ask someone else to represent him.

But, you know, dull responsibilities.

The board meeting was where they all got together and discussed things to make the Underworld a 'better place' for civilians and a meeting to keep order. But it usually just ended up with everyone falling asleep and going for tea biscuits later on the day. Bafalaut liked that part of the day, because he could complain about certain people only to find out he had shared views. Like that hedgehog that one day due to his activities caused a bit of a stir and everyone was just like 'urrrgh not again' and then had a bit of laugh because of how pathetic it was. Hell wasn't happy, considering it only soiled its reputation further.

So Bafalaut was a large fellow. By that he mean he was an absolutely massive black-furred goat demon. He towered above everyone, and that was bad since the chairs in the meeting were tiny. They never did have the budget to get him something stable. Cheap bastards. So Bafalaut was sort of losing his muscular physique these days, which was depressing. It was less exercise and more do paperwork for most of the day. Then again, when you had the job of filing deceased souls into the sections of the Underworld, and with the chaos on the surface it was like a raving corpse party up there, it did pay well so he couldn't complain much.

Much. He always did have time for complaining.

Upon reaching where the meeting took place and opening those hellstone (why was it always hellstone?) doors with ease, Bafalut ducked slightly to avoid his large, curled horns from scraping the ceiling. He looked presentable enough, with his black suit and his white tie and his shoes which were killing his feet because small ow, he even combed his red hair back and everything! See? He cared! Partially! ...Not really. Bed was comfy and this was not.

The room itself was dull. Grey walls, grey ceiling, grey floor, and grey personality. There was a large table in the center of the room with a whiteboard at the end, where one could stand up and make diagrams. If you were to look close, you could see the crude doodles faintly wiped off. Well done, Tartarus. Stay classy.

This gigantic black-furred red-eyed being sat down in a chair, hearing it creak slightly under his weight, abnormally long tail wrapped around it several times to not allow one to trip over it.

Now to wait for the others to show up. Hell was usually early, so what was keeping the representative?

Fun. Oh so much fun... Every so often a meeting took place in a dull old room, yada yada. Representatives from three different major parts of Mobius, one of them being Hell. Unfortunately for this demon. Oh, how Void, the so called 'devil' hated coming to these meetings. Every time it seemed to be Hell which got all of the problems. Ranging from things such as Sithis, the huge invincible demon going on a rampage, to some nutcase like Azrael going on demon hunting rampages, when he himself is a demon. Irony.

Don't even get him started on the guys on the overworld. Cyril killing people for no reason, oh that sickened him. The entire Shadow Blade organisation hadn't even been able to get to Cyril yet, because they were too busy rounding up all of the dead that kept coming and coming.

Then there was that newcomer, Damian. As much as Void hated the cops on the overworld, he couldn't help but grind his teeth angrily at the way Damian behaved. There were so many... so many people that ticked him off beyond his limits.

And then there were the people at the meetings he was forced to go to every month.

Void despised everyone with a passion at the meetings, yet didn't show it ever. He just acted like a wise, yet big headed demon that does his job well. Heck, it wasn't his responsibility to stop people from escaping Hell or anything, so he wasn't going to take the blame for any of it. Arriving on the scene of the dull colored room for the 91 Millionth time, the devil simply sat down on his 'chair'. "So. You're early..." He said to Bafalaut, picking his razor teeth with his sharp claws. "Normally you turn up late, or never." Void motioned his hand in a circle pattern, a demonforge steel trinket being formed out of thin air. He grabbed the handle, and slammed it onto the desk.

He peered around the room for a little bit. Venting was going to be so much fun today. Too many problems within such little time. By Sithis... that was just ridiculous.

One thing Void knew for certain was the fact that this meeting wasn't going to go without a long case of firey ranting and explosions of rage and breaking stuff. But at least it wasn't going to go like the rest of the world, with blowing up the entire room for no reason and slaughtering every last living person.

Upon noticing Void enter, Bafalaut suddenly realised that the meeting would be starting soon. Can this big black demon please have a few more minutes of sleepy-time please? Please? No? Well screw you then. The beast lifted his head from the table, huffing as he straightened himself out as others swarmed through, looking equally as pissed and equally as tired.

"I turn up late, or never, because there's no need for me to even be here," he replied with a groan. "It always the same thing and nothing ever happens in Sheol because we're all about business and you're all about keeping people in mind." He snorted, patting the chair beside him. "So before this car crash starts and I starve for several long, painful hours, how's Hell these days?"

Honestly he'd never talked to Void much, the most Bafalaut did in the meetings is watch him rage and the others moan. Then afterwards they'd laugh and go about their usual days which weren't as dull as this. Perhaps a little calming chat would make this a little less painful, and maybe he'd know Void a little more than just a 'grumpy old fart'.

That question. Oh god, that question... he hesitated visibly, before clearing his throat a bit and responding. "Hell is what it always is, and always has been. Hell for everyone." He picked his teeth again, rubbing his fingers together after. "Dumbass people escaping because the guards can't do anything right; people slaughtering their own kind; yada yada, all of that stuff. I don't need to specify." He poured himself some of the ridiculously strong 100% alcohol, and drank it. "What about your place... surely it has to be so one hundred percent perfect like Hell is!" He said, with CLEAR sarcasm.

Oh so Hell was being Hell again. Honestly that came as no surprise, and anything less than what Void stated would have made Bafalaut actually shocked. Instead he simply snorted, those piercing red eyes catching each drop, and eventually the entire load of alcohol into the glass. This looked like it was gonna be a great meeting. Totally.

Lies.

"Honestly? I have little to no time. Usually I can escape the dreaded work for a few hours, but with the amount of happy-happy-fun-time slaughter going on above..." a single black claw raised to point at the ceiling, "...I've had so many soul-filing that I just want to go up there and punt the ones responsible for my workload." Wow that alcohol looked delicious. He was more of a tea person, really, but there was no harm in indulging himself every now and again. Though today was not one of those times, and Mr. Hell was looking rather pissed. ...In a few minutes it could be in both senses.

"Never been up there myself, if I'm honest. Too much drama. Have you?"

Void was glad that Bafalaut had had problems of his own. "Paper work for deaths, blah blah blah... happens all of the time. Last time I checked the Shadow Blades had a mountain of contracts asking to assassinate the guys that are doing all of the killing. Ironic, but still, it'd be best for everyone if the boys handled them." He said. He then looked to the trinket, picking it up. He then answered.

"Oh, of course I have..." He said with spite. "It's worse than Hell up there. No lie... killing around every corner. What ever the hell happened to the cops, I don't know..." With a quick flick, he had drank the entire trinket. "It's rather stupid if you ask me, considering the fact that they all slaughter and slaughter and kill and kill like it's a game. What happened to that old Hide and Seek thing people used to play?" He joked, before placing it onto the desk again.

"I find that amusing - it's more hell up there than it is in Hell. Makes you wonder why those up there think of it as worse, really." The giant black demon turned his head, looking over the room. The incredibly dull grey room, with that damned clock ticking and taunting on the wall. He'd lost count how many times that had been destroyed by an outburst of anger. He'd give sympathy if it didn't deserve it with that irritating ticking... and that it was an inanimate object.

Tick tock goes the clock, ticking and tocking until this damned meeting starts.

Those pure red eyes of Bafalaut's (he personally didn't see them as terrifying, but some disagreed) examined those coming into the room. There was Tartarus's representative - those high and mighty hoity-toity idiots who think they're the greatest because they collect eldritch abominations like pets. Oh, and there was Hades. The fire in that area was a tad much though. Then again, fire in Hell was even worse. As his eyes caught sight of the doorway, the others from the other sections wandered in rubbing their eyes and probably mumbling to themselves why their existence had to punish them like this. He didn't blame them.

As soon as he got home, he was totally gonna dump his workload on Gueton and sleep.

"Very true..." He filled the trinket again. "I'm quite certain that most people that end up in hell actually find that it's not so bad. Funny, since they damn well should." He sighed deeply once again, before pinching the bridge of his... nose... snout... muzzle thing. Void noticed a look in Bafalauts eyes, which was aimed at but one thing; the clock. "...Annoying, isn't it? The amount of times you've trashed that clock, I wonder how it still works..." He said, before taking another swig from the trinket. Little did Bafalaut know, the beverage was really weak to Void.

The devil simply looked to see the others entering, basically getting the same impression as Bafalaut did for them, besides Hades. Oh, he and Hades had brilliant times together. The occasional fire starting, the burning of the papers... so much fun indeed. It made him remember when he was ten millenniums younger. The devil simply turned his attention back to Bafalaut, the meeting about to commence.

So it only took an hour for the meeting to resolve into chaos.

Bafalaut was currently sighing, head propped up with his hands, elbow against the grey table. He turned to Void, blinked a few moments, and turned back with another dramatic sigh as he watched the representatives of both Hades and Tartarus bicker, nose to nose, anger in their eyes. Honestly he kind of forgot what it was over, probably expanding territory. One thought one was more important than the other, and it was all just a bicker.

Oh he had a temptation to butt in and say something along the lines of 'Sharing is Caring!' but that would probably get a kick in the face, and if they weren't talking about territory then it'd be kinda very awkward. Honestly he could have just feigned illness and stayed home, but noooo he had to go to this one.

"Having fun?" he asked to Void. Clearly Bafalaut did not sound like he was having fun himself.

Void was reacting negatively to the bickering. At one point he threw the bottle of alcohol across the room and into the wall and lit it on fire to get them to stop, yet that didn't even work. He facepalmed hard, and slammed his head onto the desk in a sense that said screw it all. He looked up, sighing, glaring at the clock. This couldn't end any time soon.

His head snapped to Bafalaut, and he shrugged. "Not really. This is getting really irritating, the fools." He did a signal to block ears, before he scratched his claws hard against the table producing a loud creaking noise. "Would you two imbeciles quit being in each others faces before I get Sithis up here to 'REPRESENT' Hell?" He more or less threatened the two. Last time that happened, they regretted it.

=BUMP=

(SORRY SORRY SORRY)

Removing his fingers from his fuzzy ears, the black goat-like demon gave an unamused grumble. See, this is why he'd rather much have a nice, relaxing party with happiness and smiles and no-one bickering and arguing. Because, really, when people argue all it does is make everyone else feel awkward and just causes all sorts of negative emotions.

He lightly tapped his claws against the table, giving a small cough. Ridiculously long tail wrapping around his chair, the tapping soon became a rhythmic drumming. "Excuse me, I'd like to speak."

You see, the thing with Bafalaut is that he's a rather nice fellow if you excuse outward, intimidating appearances. He likes to see others having fun, as well as have fun himself. He's the kind of demon to takes things lightly and, overall, almost seem like some sort of adorable goof.

So when he gets angry or aggressive, you know something's wrong and you know something will pay. When he becomes furious, it's one of the most terrifying things in the world, even more so than Sithis himself.

How fortunate that meetings were just a bore, and he could make a little party later (with alcohol!) to cheer everyone's spirits. That was usually the better time. As the group hushed, the drumming stopped.

"So Sheol has been having a little trouble too. Not in terms of organisation, no. But more... money," his face wrinkled into displeasure, "It's more that someone here owes us money from the loan they took quite a while off, and never returned fully. Honestly exchange rates are such a bother and I don't understand why we all can't use the same currency but still." The tapping began, but only for a few seconds. "We can let things slide, as it wasn't much, if they simply fess up to the people here."

Void simply burried his head into his hands, sighing. Stress, oh how you kill us all. He rubbed one of his horns gently, and just watched the others for most of the time. Staring at Bafalaut, he didn't look amused. Those bright red glowing demon eyes said otherwise.

He was quite a... how you say, hostile person. Not very friendly to those that are outside of Hell. Sort of payback since everyone in the room had been mean towards him at one point in their encounters.

Normally Void was a decent person to talk to, but often? He was a manipulative, cruel, cold hearted devil. Especially if you were on his bad side. Oh, you'd be screwed.

Glancing towards Bafalaut, he frowned upon hearing that. He owed... a LOT of money. A LOT. A sound of hands hitting faces was audible too, as some of the others also facepalmed. Void leaned back. "Well. As you are aware I'm still trying to fix the damage that-" He glared into the eyes of someone there. "SOMEONE caused." ...Soul destroying glare galore.

The others that were as you say, in debt, were lost what to say. Honestly, they'd blown a lot of it on pointless stuff.

Void continued on by downing an entire crate of the alcohol. Today was going to be... long. "And Hell is still in trouble with a lot of things, I won't 'bore' you all with the details. You all end up complaining anyway. Children." He remarked, before sighing again.

'Someone has a superiority compleeeex~' Honestly the 'tough guy' routine had been done to such a point that it was boring. The desire to look threatening, to make yourself look better than all else, to intimidate people into doing what you want? Yawn. Bafalaut was just waiting for the day for ol' Void to crack and finally show some decency rather than be, well, a lousy dull fart. Just couldn't have fun. Even drunk he was more of a dick than, well, a dancing-on-the-table kind of guy.

Unlike someone here. He wasn't allowed on tables anymore. They always broke.

"It was just a simple reminder on nothing more. I'm a patient person," he gave a large shrug, "and I have enough time in the world for the money to be paid back, even if it was bit-by-bit." Red eyes glanced upward at the clock. Just enough time for, well, Hell's complaints.

Someone get the list. Oh dear.

"Void, your turn. Anything you wish to discuss or share?" And after this was the break! Oh yeees~

Void scratched his head. "Well. If memory serves me correctly..."
He literally, took out a list. A list which was almost the length of the entire table.
"More prisoners have escaped than ever, the walls are collapsing, the lava is overflowing, the economy is dying, Sithis is going insane, Hell is getting too populated...Blah blah blah blah 30 minutes later...And the castle is under siege. How fun." He lay back on his chair. What did Hell even do to deserve something as bad as THAT? Seriously?

Picking at his razor sharp teeth, he mumbled a few things, before placing both arms on the armrests of the chair. He turned his head to the clock to find that the meeting was over. 'Hell' yes. He waited for the others to notice patiently.

Tap tap tap tap tap. "Okay! Meeting is officially over for today!" Bafalaut called out to the group with a wide grin on his face. This was the best part about the meeting, because it meant less complaining and more social interaction. Also the meeting was over - key point right there. No-one liked it, but most enjoyed the after 'party'. We're all totally good representatives. Totally. We care. He lies. "Who here's heading to the break room for some tea and biscuits?"

The massive behemoth of a demon gave a long and hearty stretch, standing up from his chair, his massive horns tapping at the ceiling. Streeeeetch~ His tail flicked several times, flexing and curling itself to get used to, well, moving. As did the rest of his body; that meeting took forever.

He expected most here to go for delicious after-session noms. Void? Not so much. Grump.

Void looked at Bafalaut, sighing. That's all the meetings were about now. No more 'Oh hey, let's fix your problems together' but instead 'WHO CARES, LET'S PARTY'. The world today. Ugh. Void rolled his eyes a bit, before standing up and cracking his fingers a bit. "Consider this time a special occasion. I'll join you."

Instantly he got a few gasps from the others, as he was known by everyone as the one that was unable to party. AKA, the biggest grump ever. Him? Wanting to join in? Whoaaaaah.

The devil slowly walked to Bafalaut. "Lead the way." He said, waiting for the tall demon to get moving.

'AhahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Void actually joining them? Now let's just take a moment to think what this means. It means he's loosening up slightly. It means he's not as much as a Grumpbutt Mc Workaholic. It means he's actually deciding to socialise and maybe be not as bitter to everyone else.

It also meant it an opportunity to break this guy's annoyingly difficult shell and see the fuzzy happy rainbow smiles beneath.

Bafalaut's red eyes blinked once. Then twice. Yes. Let's not mess this up. Be casual, you big oaf, "Ah, er, right." The demon gave a stretch, walking forward a little more ahead to guide them. His abnormally long tail wrapped around his waist several times over to not trip people up, his horns scraping the ceiling lightly - not enough to chip off some flakes, but it did occasionally bump against it with each of his steps.

~~~

Aaah, the coffee room. Or 'staff' room if you wanted to be a child again. A rather large round room with many chairs (and if you wanted to really chill, beanbags) placed in the room, a kitchen to the side where someone could brew up some tea and such. Biscuit tins placed on a counter which no doubt would be devoured within the first few hours. Considering the rest of Hell, this place was quite colourful. Paintings in frames on the walls, the wallpaper a nice shade of blue, lava lamps set up on tables. It was a place where one could go to relax and, well, chat.

Bafalaut went straight to the kitchen, finally releasing his tail so it could loll about on the floor. "Anyone fancy tea?" he asked in a chirpy tone, the running of water heard and soon enough the hiss of a kettle.

Representatives of the Underworld, everybody.

And so the devil followed, glancing towards the other demons. "..." He was slightly irritated at how everyone was giving him looks, but ah, whatever. Just roll with it.

Follow the tall one, yes. That's what the best thing to do is. Mhmm.

~~~

Upon arriving in the coffee room, Void selected the hard chairs rather than beanbags. He joined in, yes. But he wasn't prepared to chill like nothing was wrong with the world just yet. A glance towards the room. Wow this place had been spiced up since the last time he was in here. Wait, when was he ever in here?

"I don't care, honestly. Tea, coffee, vodka, anything." He said dully, obviously not as warmed up to the idea of a coffee break since well, first time. Ever. Or as normal people put it, a grump.

At least he showed some kind of understanding personality of what you'd expect the underworld representatives to be.

...Dull, zombie-like grumps. Yes.