Spiro the Tiger
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Spiro the Tiger
Name:Spiro Faolan
Gender:female
Species:Tiger
Experimented at:the Mystic Ruins
Skills/powers:Swordplay,great intelligenge,Expert at combat
Likes:combat,horror movies,hanging out with friends,homestuck
Personality:tough,funny,fun,entertaining,sweet,selfless
Friends:Sol,Kallace,Emerald,Sonic,Cyril
Parents:none.she was an experiment,so she was made
Crush:none
Lover:Shadenks
Physical appearence:light red fur,black sripes,light blue eyes
Other:she has type 1 diabetes,an amazing pirate,trusts only close friends
Goal:to become the most legendary pirate out there
Last edited by -KallaceTheVampirateWolf- on Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:05 pm; edited 3 times in total
-KallaceTheVampirateWolf-- Newbie Member
- Posts : 4
Join date : 2014-01-19
Age : 28
Location : the ship 'The Assassain' (her own ship!)
Re: Spiro the Tiger
You don't necessarily HAVE to listen to my advice, but I can tell you're new at this, so allow me to give you some tips to improve Spiro.
1. You state she was born at the Mystic Ruins, but then you state that she was created as an experiment. You need to either decide on one or create a convincing backstory that meshes the two together. (Maybe her creator had a facility in the ruins? Something along those lines?)
2. I'm reasonably certain that Homestuck doesn't exist within the context of the Sonic universe. May want to remove that. Remember, our characters are extensions of ourselves, but they don't have to have the same interests as us, especially if it breaks the illusion of a self-contained reality.
3. You don't bother to explain who created her, or why, or how she came to be wherever she currently is. I'll be frank: Without this, her profile is incomplete. This extends to her diabetes (error during her creation?), her love of piracy (watched pirate movies? Got involved with a pirate crew?) and her natural distrust of people (betrayed by her creator?) as well.
People don't just become who they are with no explanation, and this is the one thing that kills most budding Sonic OCs before they have a chance to develop. I see a ton of potential here for a character who's fun to work with, but in order for that to happen, you need to make her more of a person and less of a plot device.
Like my main OC, Stardust, I have a habit of telling it like it is, but without actively insulting people. You're still inexperienced, just like I was once upon a time. The difference is, I had to learn how to make a compelling character on my own. So take what I say with a grain of salt and make Spiro into a clever, unique character, k?
1. You state she was born at the Mystic Ruins, but then you state that she was created as an experiment. You need to either decide on one or create a convincing backstory that meshes the two together. (Maybe her creator had a facility in the ruins? Something along those lines?)
2. I'm reasonably certain that Homestuck doesn't exist within the context of the Sonic universe. May want to remove that. Remember, our characters are extensions of ourselves, but they don't have to have the same interests as us, especially if it breaks the illusion of a self-contained reality.
3. You don't bother to explain who created her, or why, or how she came to be wherever she currently is. I'll be frank: Without this, her profile is incomplete. This extends to her diabetes (error during her creation?), her love of piracy (watched pirate movies? Got involved with a pirate crew?) and her natural distrust of people (betrayed by her creator?) as well.
People don't just become who they are with no explanation, and this is the one thing that kills most budding Sonic OCs before they have a chance to develop. I see a ton of potential here for a character who's fun to work with, but in order for that to happen, you need to make her more of a person and less of a plot device.
Like my main OC, Stardust, I have a habit of telling it like it is, but without actively insulting people. You're still inexperienced, just like I was once upon a time. The difference is, I had to learn how to make a compelling character on my own. So take what I say with a grain of salt and make Spiro into a clever, unique character, k?
Re: Spiro the Tiger
She seems really amazing Kallace. Great job!
vegetaovr9000- Expert Member
- Posts : 478
Join date : 2013-11-18
Age : 24
Location : Cruising down I-29 in a '97 Plymouth Grand Voyager B)
Re: Spiro the Tiger
My advice still stands, but yes, I agree. Spiro's a good idea that just needs a dose of detail to become amazing. So if you're planning to get that detail through experience, it's a good idea to get started.
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