Redid the whole beginning of my story :)

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Redid the whole beginning of my story :) Empty Redid the whole beginning of my story :)

Post by Vairik The Hedgehog on Sun Aug 14, 2016 4:39 am

I changed it from the Nemarin (the nation of the story's good guys.Theirs but more on that later!) to the kortians winning. i feel like this is what i should have done. also i changed up the tactics of the conflicts on the world of Livona! enjoy! Very Happy 

The thunderous noise of guns surrounds me as the Kortian Forces move ever closer. As they rush forward are forces unleash another volley into the crowd of enemy’s charging with swords and bayonets equipped. But before I get the chance to fire I hear “RETREAT!!!” I feel the ground in my fox hole begin to rumble, in my attempt to run out I slip on the wall of the fox hole. I fall over to the left side with a splat and mud shoot into my eyes. The fear I already have is now at least double what it was. I can’t get up! I keep slipping! My damn boots keep making me slip! I try rolling over but then it’s too late. I hear a deep voiced Kortian screaming “SLHOTOR!” guns begin to blast towards my comrades retreating, I decide to stay put… but I feel my hand twitching from fear. I then I turn around to see mud flying every ware and horse hooves and boots rushing past my face only inches away. I notice my hand is held out! SLAM! Shit! My view goes pink and fuzzy for a second but I can still see the solider who had stepped on my hand running still running in the same direction. And then no more for about 20 seconds. As I lay and begin to hear a horse clopping near me. I finally am able to sit myself back up and to the fox hole to my right I see black horse with gold plated armor with the Kortian Markings on it’s sides. My gaze begins to drift upwards and I begin to see a black armored leg, and then hand, then torso and then “ple-please he-hel” BANG. I immediately lay back down with my heart almost ready to explode… it’s him, we were always tolled about him by even are bravest of leader’s and warriors… The Wolf. General Sethikus Ahns-Nuva. I hear him mutter a word in Kortian which I can assume is a slur of some kind. The sound of the general’s horse slowly clops away… I can’t help but shed a tear. How did I survive that? I look at my hand that was stepped on and then let it fall to my side. I now begin to cry.

Tell me what you thought!

sorry for some small mistakes near the beginning i'm to tired to fix them right now XD

Vairik The Hedgehog
Vairik The Hedgehog
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Join date : 2015-12-30
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